doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
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