If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
