is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
