Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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