When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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