Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
