yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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