so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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