ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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