Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
