disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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