It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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