then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
