his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
