who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
