what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize