I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
