i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
