He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
17 year olds will be the death of me.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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