I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
