it was like his penis was on wheels.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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