I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
only you would photoshop your dick
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Randomize
