walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
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