Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
