Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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