Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
