can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
