he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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