btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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