I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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