I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
