hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
