No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
