Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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