Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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