How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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