Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize