then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
