I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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