Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
