Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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