pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
