I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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