winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
