Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
