Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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