Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize