OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
