Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize