Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
