you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
