yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm passing your future prison.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
