we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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