i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
