Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
