Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
