I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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